"Our conversations, even the tense ones, felt a little more compassionate."
“Do I sign off for the day? My kids are almost home after all, and I just want to give them a hug.”
When I reached out to JP about Tell Me a Story he said there was something weighing heavy on him he’d like to write about. I’m honored he would be comfortable doing that in this space.
I don’t want to step on his words, so will keep this intro brief. It’s different sending your kids off to school these days. It’s tougher for terrible reasons.
Warning: this references the recent Nashville school shooting.
NASHVILLE - March 27, 2023
“I just heard about the school shooting in Nashville. Are your kids safe?”
The Slack message from my manager caught me off guard, so I grabbed my phone and did a quick search.
Tap, tap, tap on the keyboard — Nashville school shooting.
Sure enough, the screen filled with media outlets peppering the latest updates and images about the shooting at Covenant School.
My kids were safe, but I know a family who sends their children to school near Covenant. Scrolling through my contacts, I found my friend and typed as fast as my thumbs would let me.
“Hey, man. I heard about the shooting. Tell me your kids are okay.”
His response came within seconds. “Yeah, our kids don’t go there, but we know many families who do.”
As I breathed a sigh of relief, my heart quickly sank for the children and adults who lost their lives.
“Do I sign off for the day? My kids are almost home after all, and I just want to give them a hug.”
In the end, I remained at work as notification after notification appeared and dinged in the upper right corner of my screen. But you’d better believe, as soon as my daughters stepped foot off the bus, I met them at the front door and with my arms wide open.
How does someone talk about this subject with their kids? Especially when the child is the same age as the children who passed away that day.
Our daughters were scared, and we had to explain what happened.
I don’t remember exactly how the conversation went, but I do remember telling them that I can’t guarantee their safety — I can’t protect them everywhere they go for the rest of their lives.
But that we also can’t live in fear and never leave the house.
Our 9-year-old had a difficult time going to school for the next two days. But as she spent time with her friends and saw us “moving forward,” I think it brought some peace and confidence that everything would be okay.
That we can mourn and still live life.
Over the next few weeks, life looked a little different around our home. We turned off the TV more and sat around the dinner table longer. We gave a few more hugs. Smiles seemed to fill our home. We took advantage of the time we had together. Our conversations, even the tense ones, felt a little more compassionate.
But we didn’t live in fear either.
We still sent our kids to school. We still let them run around the neighborhood. They still spent the night at a friend’s house or went to a friend’s birthday party.
The tragic event of March 27, 2023 left an imprint on our home, just like it did on our community. And I wouldn’t dare compare our feelings to those of the seven families who lost loved ones that day.
But something hit a little differently because of the commonalities between our family and those at Covenant School.
I once heard a saying, “People don’t change until they’re shocked into it.”
For us, that day was a shocking moment. Despite a couple of months passing by, our lives have continued to move forward but some of the behaviors seem to be stuck in time — in a good way.
While I don’t wish tragedy on anyone, I would encourage us all to find common ground in our situations. Maybe, just maybe, we’d raise our kids with a little more love or treat our neighbors with a little more kindness, or recognize people doing great things at our jobs. Because as cliché as it sounds, every day is truly a gift.